flyingwalker

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Posted this on flyingdragonz a while back. Usually there's nothing much in it, though I tend to rant a lot. Sometimes I write stuff. I figured this comm is more or less dead LOL

http://flyingdragonz.livejournal.com/

Gonna have to start sleeping earlier from now on. 

Isn't it funny sometimes, that you feel so alone even when you're surrounded by people?
Phone calls, SMSes, WhatsApp and Facebook chats. Twitter and Tumblr. 
We're always plugged in to each other technologically, but it's missing something.

I miss the warmth of sharing a funny story, and hearing a laugh instead of a 'LOL'.
I miss being bored together, when the silence is almost physical and not from the lack of phone vibrations.
I miss feeling connected when we talk, having someone listen to my words.

I'm just standing at a public phone, waiting for someone to call me again.

First ever photog trip just ended! 

It'll probably take too long to record down all the experiences I've had on the trip, but it was such an amazing six days. The sunrises, temples, ruins, dinners and especially the people of Cambodia have left such a great impact in me, and I learnt so much in those six days. 

The children and villagers touched me the most of all, especially the first two villages we went to. The first was a village we stopped by before lunch, while the second was a fishing village at the side of the river. 

Photos below

-edit-

On my way to livejournal I typed in "flying" in the address bar, and then www.flyingcow.com came out. 



Damn it. I want one. 


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I've been feeling loads of emotions lately. The most frequent emotion that comes up is regret and un-usefulness. School's great and all, but I have such a superficial relationship with MJC. We cope with each other pretty well, but at the end of the day, I'm not going to be somebody it misses much, and vice versa. 

Although, I realise I complain about school too much. In retrospect, I think it's teaching me to let things go. For example, stop feeling like crap because of things I couldn't control. Like OGL selection. 

Anyway, I went with my lit class to watch Richard III yesterday! Best seats of my life, except for King Lear. I was literally in front of the actors, sitting in the middle of row J, and no one tall was in front of me \O/

Kevin Spacey is GENIUS. He was so enigmatic and charismatic, and with his sardonic humour, he made made such a great villan.  I was annoyed that people kept asking him silly questions for Q and A, but he was witty (and slightly mocking) so it went on quite well. 
My favourite part was when he talked about the best thing an actor could receive on stage was silence. It was a BUUURN moment to all the people who were laughing/clapping loudly at an important scene and got me so annoyed. I get that you're enjoying something a lot, and  I won't get pissed off if it was the actor's intention (Kevin Spacey broke the fourth wall a lot),  but the entire atmosphere is ruined when you intrude into a scene.

Although I LOL'd when someone shouted "I LOVE YOU KING RICHARD" and he replied them without missing a beat. \O/

And pet peeve: Why do people clap and cheer after every. single. scene.

Another favourite part of mine: "Personally, I find politicians fucking funny-Oops! ....What I mean by that is, um."



And one of the best perks of watching a shakespearean play is cute ang moh guys speaking in english accents <3 The actor who played Doset and other minor roles was so handsome! Clarence had really muscular legs, and Henry of Richmond was a Manly Man. I tweeted to Dorset in school today, and he replied me during Lit ~*~~*~*~*~ 


Someone hold me.


Meeting some of the cast tomorrow in school! Although I'm disappointed no one mentioned above is coming :( But we get to meet Gemma Thompson! AHHHHH

F.

Really upset now.

Found out that in addition to the stupid World Orchid Expo that was really boring on hindsight, the tickets we bought paid for entry to the Flower dome, which was the thing I planned to bring my grandaunt to in the first place.

U.

So I wasted my time, I wasted her time, and in the end, all we did was walk a lot and my grandaunt wasn't even that thrilled about it.

C.

All I wanted to do was to bring my grandaunt out, and make her happy because she's always doing so much for me, and even though I love her, I keep disappointing her one way or another.

K.

Why couldn't it have gone right. Not for me, but just for her!

FUCK.
THIS.
SHIT.

I'm in a strange mood right now. It doesn't feel like it has a name. It's a feeling of both tired and tireless at the same time, both happy and sad, both angry and zen, both having too much things to blog about and yet not feeling like blogging.

I'll call it equilibrium. My moods are equilibrated. 

Tomorrow's the end of PW.
When I think of my PW journey, the first word that comes to my mind is unexpected.
I thought PW would be a subject that was easy to handle. Well, in comparison to the MEP research essay which I had to do all on my own, and with regard to that, I thought that it would have been easier the second time around.
Instead I got more sleepless nights, more stress, and breaking points. zzzzzz. 

On the other hand, PW brought me a lot closer to my classmates too. That was a unforseen bonus. Pleasant, but unforseen. I still wish that our class would be as bonded as other classes, but at least on my part, I know that I've grown closer to the people who went through the same shit as I did for the past 8 months through camaraderie. And endless games of Stress/Go(ld)fish, listening to school gossip and facebook-chatting/Whatsapping each other. <3 Above PW meetings and work hee.

12.01am~

I'm actually really tired physically, because I spent the whole day walking around with my grandaunt LOL. After badminton with LinhuiRuoXiElizabeth, I brought my grandaunt to see the orchid exhibition in MBS. We BMWed the whole way, and I didn't sit down for 4 hours straight so my heels are killing me now. I'm not sure if she had fun, but I really hoped she did. On my part I took about 300+ photos of orchids, and I'm pretty sure I'll hate myself sorting through them later haha.

-some pictures tomorrow-

For the first time in months I'll go crash now. Night all.

PW's almost overrrrr. I am so looking forward to a Photography holiday~

I'm currently editing some shots I took for Funfestique back in July, and they're so horrible that I'm not sure how to salvage them :/ Makes me wonder what I've really learnt throughout this year in Photog club, because if I memorised the basics, it sure doesn't look like it.



Such a wonderful photo of my school! I really like how the darkness and the blurriness emphasize that I'm not holding my camera straight.

-sobbing-

If anything, i'm determined to improve at least. My DSLR is not an accessory, nor a point and shoot, nor for camwhoring (only). My precious will be carried around everyday from November 15 onwards. I'm hoping to try out amateurish studio photography and street photography.

Well one consolation is that I do have pictures like this:


Can you see the cyclist?

No?

Can you see him



NOW?




Still waiting for Shibei to reply me about being my model T^T

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead men got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and shot the two dead boys.

A paralyzed donkey walking by,

Kicked the copper in the eye,

Sent him through a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

(If you don't believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

I love how whimsical the poem is. It doesn't make any sense, but that's exactly what makes it so striking and artistic.
And who doesn't love irony ~

------------

Had a unproductive PW day today.
We tried our best to do OP, we really did. But coming up with slide designs? Not as easy as you'd think sighhhh.
Maybe I should get sara to help me.

On a brighter note, I overcame my difficulty of playing trills with stiff fingers today. I can finally loosen my wrist and do it properly. Next step, stopping my hand from spasm-ing hee.


Two days to chinese. I am not prepared.
Three days to Damian's appearance on glee~~ I am not prepared either. I'm afraid the writers will ruin him ):

I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT HIS NAME.
RORY FLANAGAN?
WHY.

I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS HAIR.




I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT HIS CLOTHES.




HOWEVER, I AM HAPPY ABOUT THIS PROMO, BECAUSE DAMIAN IS SINGING. And they can't ruin his singing because it is perfection, and this perfection belongs to Damian.


(Skip to 0.40)


Tuesday come soon.

It's rare to find good friends that you love unconditionally in a lifetime. I never realised it before; I always thought that being friends meant being comfortable with each other, always wanting each others' company and being soul-baringly honest with each other. But I learnt that those friendships are hard to find, especially in JC now.

I like my classmates. We joke, we split our sides laughing, share gossip, hug etc, but I don't want to spend every single moment with them. No matter what, there's this gap in between everyone, even in myself. Being friends don't mean that two people fit perfectly together; sometimes there's friction, sometimes there's this part that doesn't fit correctly. I like suaning people occasionally, and being suaned back, but it doesn't mean that I enjoy verbal sparring all the time. Sometimes it leaves me feeling victimized and attacked. It's hard to adjust, because just when you think you understand each other perfectly, something occurs that leaves you feeling raw and empty.

What's true friendship then? There's acquaintances, ex-friends, friends-you-lost-touch-with, awkward friends, good friends, close friends, best friends, people-you-just-hang-out-with, gossip friends, friends-you-can-confide-in, friends-but-you-never-confide-in blahblahblah. Earlier in the year, I wished I were closer to some people, but honestly, I believe now that if it were meant to be, it would have been.

I'm trying to become more emotionally independent, trying to find happiness in the things I do for myself too, or things I do alone. No matter what type of friend, no one can be there 24/7. I'm lucky I have my grandaunt, and sometimes my mom and my sister, but it'll be easier if I learn to love the feeling of solitude. Sounds lonely, but that's how I forsee adult life to be.

-----------

In other news, apparently I looked like a bung (butch) on my EZlink card (sec 2).
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Funny once or twice, but not when some people harp on it.

It's amazing how I cringe at my lower sec photos though. Even up to sec 3, I think I looked horrible. Sec 4 was a marginal improvement. Marginal because I got better specs. Right now, at least I don't laugh at myself when I look in the mirror LOL.

Kay off to sleep~